Ah, the Parliament brawl. Something we Brits or Americans never get, unfortunately. Because while the rest of the world get to see their (least) favourites fighting one on one without the need for pay-per-view, we have enough fuckers getting into fights in public to make up for it. Except if you’re me, where I would fucking kill to see Nigel Farage be bodied by Corbyn or any other MP.
This list will commemorate the best brawls to come out of Parliament (or any equivalent state legislature) all across the world.
Should note that many of these come from news websites which plaster all sorts of info and their watermarks onto the video. So sorry for that.
Ah yes, the infamous island country. Not my country of residence, the one in Asia. East Asia, to be exact. While many may wonder if their Parliament may have fights on the daily which can be compared to something out of a battle shonen anime/manga or tokusatsu (mostly those who know jackshit about Japan), this clip unfortunately shows the truth: their brawls are not all that.
In this clip from 2015, tons of people get around the Upper House committee chairman, Yoshitada Konoike, as they try to prevent a vote for a controversial security bill trying to be passed by the leading LDP (Liberal Democratic Party, though it is rather conservative in nature), who’s president is Shinzo Abe, to put things into account. Instead of people shouting their special moves and bringing out giant fucking mechas, we instead see people huddling around somebody like parents trying to get the last of the hit Christmas toy for their kids. As such why it’s no. 10.
But, hey at least Shinzo Abe got something a bit more interesting happen to him a few years down the line, eh?
South Africa, not really known as a country that’s peaceful… or has leaders which aren’t corrupt. Tons of people are up in flames about Mr Zuma, and his perceived corruption, and let me say this is a proper fight, you can see them really up in flames with the security guards recruited to stop them. There’s not much to say about this: but it’s much better than what the Japanese disgraced us with.
I seriously don’t know much about South Africa post-apartheid so consider this a blank slate and number nine for a reason.
Italians, man. If you’re a fan of gangsters, sorry to say that there’s no mafia in this one. But it’s even better! Instead of not being able to pay a debt, this is a fight which started over a flag. Their red, white and green flag to be exact. A lawmaker, Leonardo Donno, tried to give a far righter, Igor Iezzi, a flag during a debate about a law regarding the autonomous regions of Italy, then they got into a full fight.
Now shit gets real. Iezzi punched him a few times, then Donno ahd to be taken out of a wheelchair. Iezzi was later suspended for 15 days, so I guess there were legitimate consequences to this instead of just ruffling a few feathers if one guy had to be fucking carried out of a wheelchair (though they’re not actually crippled). Italy does not fuck around. That is why it’s number eight.
Oh hey look, the country the PRC hates. Will this website be banned in China for simply mentioning the fact that Taiwan is a nation? Probably not, because I doubt they have time so scan this. But it’s fun to pretend anyway. Either way, while a one-party state may make the National People’s Congress rather peaceful, that’s not fun! Countries need in-fighting. Take notes CCP.
It seems that Taiwan’s opposition party in Legislative Yuan at the time really knew how to start a brawl. Have you ever seen that episode of The Boondocks where Riley throws a chair and then everyone in the vicinity just wants to beat the shit out of each other afterwards? The same happened here. Kind of. The opposition just threw various pieces of furniture and threw a shitton of paper around to fuck around. This was all over infrastructure spending, mind you. And this is not the only time of which the opposition party did this.
While the status of Taiwan being a country is debatable, it is undebatably number seven on this list.
Not the state, despite the many crazy stories I’ve heard from it, but rather the country. In the midst of all the chaos in April surrounding the foreign influence bill, which many saw as akin to Russia’s laws, a member of the opposition went and straight up fucking punched a lawmaker of the ruling party who was talking. Bit rude huh?
After that, many came over to the ruckus that followed, and as seen in the video they cut the recording because Georgia fucking hates us or something. But there are other clips of brawls surrounding this bill later on, such as here.
All of this made me get into researching Parliament brawls man, they’re so fucking good. Takes #6 for a reason.Captain Alex reference aside, this is jsut one juicy brawl. It’s all about whether to scrap the age limit for president and grant the long serving president Yoweri Museveni another term. This being highly contentious leads to a fight starting, and as they're at each other's necks and want each other hospitalised, somebody of course, throws a chair! Although unlike what The Boondocks portrays, the fighting seems to slow down afterwards.
Either way he is unfortunately still president. So I guess that age limit was scrapped and we have to wait for the bastard to die for some change. Or they can beat the shit out of each other. Your choice, Ugandan politicians. But either you’re number five so you should be proud.
Erdogan may be a bitch, but his lasting legacy of brawls is fascinating. You’ve probably seen one of them as clips in a YouTube video to symbolise chaos or when searching “parliament brawl” to begin with. They are special. Whether it be about depriving MPs under investigation over immunity (pictured(, or Turkey’s current military involvement in Syria, it is glorious (the brawls, not their military involvement).
Everyone piling on each other is so magical, it’s like out of a fantasy. It’s something so beautiful, something everyone should show their kids. One day, Britain will be treated to this in Westminister. One day. But as of now Turkey takes the number 4 spot.
Ukraine ranks as one of the most corrupt countries in Europe for a reason. And in this video you see a MP with a bouquet in hand, handing it to and grabbing somebody by the waist, then others trying to detach the MP and beating the shit out of him. The person the MP was grabbing wasn’t just some suck up to the ruling party, or the Speaker… it was the PM of Ukraine at the time! Fucking badass. If only we here were that lucky! Though I’d rather not have the corruption. We have enough if that as is.
Venezuela, the LatAm country that has unfortunately been going down with democratic backsliding and hyperinflation, with the autocratic Nicolas Maduro, who was only 2 months into his tenure when this brawl happened. The opposition raising a banner saying a coup then leads into an all out brutal fistfight between pro governemnt and opposition factions.
You can see after the fight that the opposition was hurt very badly by the fight. Like my god, let me just turn off the irony here for a second. This is two months into the guy’s tenure. And unfortunately, Venezuela has gotten a whole lot worse since then. Especially with their whole recent elections… god I hope Nicolas gets kicked out.
You also had this incident during his swearing in, where some guy named Yendri came in to ask for help from Nicolas, while security rudely refused him.
Some MPs in Jordan, an actual constitutional monarchy, in their parliament got into a fight over… it isn’t really clear, exactly. It apparently was just a shouting match that turned into a fist fight. Boring, I say. Nobody was even injured so why should I even be the littlest bit invested? I have nothing to really say on this. Let us move on.
We the people… want to keep our constitution the way it is!
In Nepal, the country with the mountain with a bunch of dead bodies, the main opposition tried to block a new constitution this time in 2015. So they of course did the logical option: fucking up the parliamentary speaker. And also throwing chairs. Boondocks was right once again.
There are also tons of people being blocked by other people, not being able to pass. This is just a very nice brawl, to put it lightly, and I’m glad that even outside a civil war, Nepal can get into a brawl. I realise that rhymes. Though I don't have much to comment on.
This would be in the list, but unfortunately it’s outside the parliament. Video speaks for itself.
Actual fighting starts one minute in
My mother, who grew up in Bangladesh, not India, always says that “old is gold”. I assume she doesn’t mean 1997 old, but the phrase still stands, as this is the oldest on the list.
There are only two words I have: absolute chaos. And I love it. The Indian state of Uttar Pradesh descended into chaos as a vote of confidence was about to take place. Loud shouting, for one, but everything was fucking thrown like it’s fucking Dead Rising. Microphones for one, but also the legendary chair, which only really exacerbated all of this.
It is the perfect brawl. Something that God could only remake. Every state legislature could only dream to have this happen during a normal Thursday session. And this isn’t even in the damn Lok Sabha! And may something like this happen to the Lok Sahba one day.
Overall, there isn’t really a conclusion. All this research has just made me have a larger lust for parliamentary violence. Hopefully this doesn’t get me arrested. Either way thanks for reading this arbitary top 10 list, I will likely never do this again, and if you think I missed something, email at slickguy191@gmail.com, I will definitely read it I promise you probably maybe not.